How long it has been!!

Well lets see, tonight Jesse provoked me to write and I am glad he did, I needed to catch up on my blogging. Jesse finally understood tonight what it was like to care for someone. Its completely different then being in love, and just because this person is an ex doesn't mean you just stop caring. He always thought I was crazy for talking to Zach still and arguing with him. He now sees where I was coming from and that I do it because I still care not because I am still in love. You can't stop caring for someone I have found out, or at least if you can I have yet to figure out how. Maybe I am just too weak of a person and I never put up a guard, who knows. I do know I care a lot about people even the ones who tend to act like or show they don't care about me. I am just one of those people who figure if you care for someone eventually they will show the same back. Crazy, I know!!

Other then that my Dad just left and went back home. I miss him a lot and it was great to see him and visit. Me and my Dad connect on a different level then the rest of my family (mom for example). We have the intellectual conversations and talk about politics and such, I love it!! We got to visit family while he was here and go on a small vacation, it was nice!! I hope to see him again soon and not have to wait so long it was almost 1yr and half since I had saw him!!

Other then that things are okay I guess, I am on this streak of bad luck that I just can't seem to get off of. I got dismissed from school, lost my financial aid, missed class, got "laid off" from Florida Tan, and any and everything else in between. But like Zach said I always seem to land on my feet some how. I think school will work out according to my advisor, now I need to find a job and get my aid back!! I will do what I can and pray it all works out!!

My love life blows!! I mean really, I wish I could get over the fact that I believe I meant for someone and start looking. I constantly think their are these few guys who I would be perfect with, but its been about 5 years and I still sit in the same spot...ALONE!! I just need a new fresh start, away from here with a clean slate. Sounds good to me!!

Well I am really tired and must make it to class tomorrow, I swear to write more often!! Love TIFFERS

Its been awhile...

Wow, I have been very neglectful to my blog...and all my faithful blog readers....(who still refuse to sign my guestbook or post comments :(..)I didn't realize how long it had been....well lets see, C-dawg, Madi, and Chris made it back from Cancun safe and hung over from the night before...I got to here many exciting stories and I got a very cool candle!! I jokingly told Connor that since he was gone for so long I made a new best friend and that it was DC, but the weird part is I was reading my cosmo and I am totally all about horoscopes and such, so it was telling me about my summer and like who my fling was gonna be and my long term relationship but then it said your new best friend will be a Virgo, and I'll be damn DC's a virgo...freaky huh?!...We have been together a lot and I love hanging out with him, he cracks me up, plus he is a very good guy to get advice from..I have a feeling are friendship is 'blossoming" and hopefully we can be BFF..lol...thats so middle school....
Jason cleaned my carpet with his Kirby, it looks so awesome, I was very excited when I came home and it was actually clean, so I paid him with a case of beer....I figured he would appreciate that more then anything else...Cherish and Merkley are leaving the FLA TAN and thats really sad...I feel like everyone has left and the only people that were there when I came in is Krissy, o well times change I guess....I went 0out las night with Brooklyn, Sarah P., and Huelsman and I had a blast!! I miss the sorority and all the girls, I mean I know we could still all hang out but it seems like then we had to make time and now that we all are working and going to school we never have time!!..I plan on goin with them on Friday too...so yea it will be another drunken evening!!
No update on my exciting almost none existant love life, I have decided that I will be alone forever and I am willing to accept that, it jus sucks knowing their is someone out their that you care about and your not sure where your place is in their life...you kind of jus go along for the ride and hope that oneday he'll finally see whats been their all along...The Wrong Girl by :: Lee Ann Womack...I have decided should be my theme song...its an awesome song and so very true. I really jus want to find someone who likes me for who I am, for what I have to offer, because I am fun, but since I don't look like Brittney Spears no one ever talks to me and gets to know me, I understand that physical attraction has to be there to get things started but at the sametime, I know that 2 of my ex b/f, I was never attracted to until I got to know them and they finally wore on me, granite I would never tell them this but its true. I feel like the world is so superficial and that "guys" just want some one to show off or out do their friends with...but you know me, being the pisces I am I truly believe their is someone out their for me, and I also believe their is someone I care a lot for and that if we ever tried it would work. Who knows tho....

well now that I wrote a novel and came to the conclusion no one loves me... :( ..I will be done with my writings...have a good day and I promise to write more often so they are shorter!! Love Always, TIFFASPIFFARIFFANY