Drama....the story of my life

So no matter what I do I have come to realize that life will always give me the shitty hand....Just when I think things are starting to get better, I get shit on yet again...I swear!! I wish I could go back to when things were simple and easy...I didn't have to worry about money, work, a roof over my head, school (at least not college)....being an adult really sucks!!

Anyways, schools going rather well....my class seem like they will be rather simple and I have "friends" in my classes so I am not alone. School seems like the only thing at the moment actually going okay, maybe its because I have only been there 2 days now....none the less I am looking forward to this semester.

Other then that I have just been catching up with old friends; Ross, Jenn, Mike, Chum, etc. Its nice to know that no matter what I have people who enjoy my company regardless of how shitty my life is goin'. I also appreciate someone else (who seems to think their life is shittier) for listenin to me bitch and complain, and always tellin me it will be okay and life could be worse...so thanks buttface!!

Well I need some shut eye, hope everyones doin' great and enjoyin school! Nighty night kiddies....TIFFY J

So much for my happy ending

You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending

It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

(chorus)

My how time flys when ur havin fun....

Well lets see, I start school in the morning and I am not sure how I feel about that. I am excited because it means I am getting closer to my goal, but it also means my summer is offically over. Melinda left this morning which was sad, we actually had a pretty good visit!! Connor came home friday to see her and go to the game (which we got our ass beat) and he left this afternoon to go back up to BSU. So here I sit by my lonesome and thinkin about how I really hope this is a great semester. All my "adult" friends are back to the ol' ville and its great. I had great conversation with Jennaben last night, and its nice to know Mike and Andrea are right up the road. DC told me he will help me with my math, and Saif said if I wanna go to lunch on our break on Mon. and Wed. to give him a call. I think for the most part this will shape up to be a pretty good semester, my classes aren't too hard plus I know most of my professors.

I went to the movies tonight with Baumgart and we saw Garden State which is a really awesome movie!! Everyone should definately go see it, Zach Braff is amazing!! So I definately recommend that everyone go see it, its funny and educational for all.

Its also DC's Bday today, so Happy Birthday!!! Well kids I must get some shut eye, I shall write more frequently from now on!! Have a good day tomorrow and later tater, TIFFANY

its been awhile...

Hey there, I feel like I have been so neglectful but really, I just have nothing to write about. I would like to wish my mom Peggy and my older bro Brett happy birthday though!! How cool is it their b-day is on the same day...weird. Well, Connor leaves in 4 days....and I really don't think it will set in until hes been gone for awhile. He told me he's not gonna answer his phone that I have to e-mail him...which I think it may be more fun that way anyway. Its gonna be hard though because I am so use to just picking up a phone everytime I need to tell him something, and things won't be that way anymore. O well....life must go on...

Besides that I have just been working and playing a lot of sand volleyball. I watched Mystic River the other day, it was pretty good...different, but good. Football is kicking off this weekend, and of course I have to miss the first game due to work...but thats okay because I will have the rest of the season off. I'm excited that fall is just around the corner...I love it, football, fall festival, halloween....what a great season!! I also spoke to someone in which I hadn't for awhile...which as much as I hate to say it...it was nice. I really wish thier wasn't so much in the past that holds us back, it seems like we can't go through one convo with out one of us throwing something from 2 years ago in each others face. Its very stupid, but its hard to let go of all of it...but I do try really hard. Its weird though because we both seem rather happy at this point and have multiple things going on....but I still feel like he should be there by my side...I guess becasue he was for so long. Anywhoo....enough of that mess....I have to work tonight which is really horrid and I would rather not but someone has to bring home the bacon, and well since I live alone I guess I shall do it!! I did get to talk to KT for awhile yesterday which was nice, I love her to death...but she definatley made some comments that were not needed....like making out in the oasis..blah blah blah....I told her when we were leaving I was gonna kill her and that he probably though I told her we have something going on (which we don't)...she goes oh he knows I am just kidiing....I sure hope so..I am afraid he thinks I am telling people stuff that isn't true..which for the record I am not!! Other then all this not much has been goin' on...pretty boring life I lead!! I must get in the shower now....but I shall write again soon....I promise!! Love, Tiffany

What a weekend!!!!!! No Really!!

It was a crazy crazy weekend....good during some parts and totally crazy others. Friday night we played some major sand volleyball out at USI, their was about 10 of us, me and B-Wam being the only 2 chicas, which was cool. I had some pretty awesome plays, like when I spun around and landed on my ass, or when I stuck one hand out and hit to the other side of the parking lot...fun times!! Then DC, Mr. Competitive himself, told me to sit out cuz I sucked....which kinda pissed me off because I go their to play for fun not to take it seriously...but if you're with 8 guys I assume that is to be expected, its all about who wins. So anywhoo, that wrapped up my friday.

Saturday I woke up bright and early and went to Kentucky Kingdom with the fam. I was totally dreading going because I knew it was just gonna suck big balls...but to my surprise it wasn't all that bad. My bro is a lil pussy and wouldn't ride any roller coasters with me...so that sucked but we had fun. Then we I got home Connor called and was like "Come out to Andy's, its a partay!!". So even though it was 11pm and I was so damn tired, I went. Needless to say everyone their was drunk except me (and Jimmy..)and havin a goodtime...Baumgart had a few memorable moments needless to say and Damin was rockin' out with the keg stands. Then some crazy crazy shit happened....some people started fightin' and it was scary. I will never forget it, and I will never forget watchin' one of my best friends get hit right in front of my face. I still feel so bad about the situation, I know it wasn't my fault, and DC knows I was just tryin' to calm him down but to be standin with inches of someone when they get hit, and your the only one their at the time is f*cked up!! Needless to say though DC made sure they left hurtin a hell of a lot worse then that one punch hurt him. It was so messed up, I felt like a douche because I was cryin' but it scared me and I felt so bad. Next to Connor he is definately without a doubt my BFF, and it just sucked!! At least they didn't hurt his sexy face...hehe.. DC I LOVE YOU!! So that was my exciting saturday that was totally crazy, he stayed at my place with me and we didn't go to bed until 4 am just talkin about it all then he crawled upstairs (haha) and I was downstairs ( for those who didn't know I have bunkbeds and I call the top my upstairs) and we went to sleep.

So sunday rolled around and I went to work...which wasn't too bad actually. Then I went and saw Jasons new place, which is very nice, I took him to get a hair cut then I went back home. Connor and all them were going to see Snoop Dogg, so I had planned on jus chillin at home and enjoyin a lovely night to myself. Of course nothin goes as planned and Connor ended up with 2 extra tickets sooo, me and Jenni went with them. It sucked until Snoop got out, which the concert started at 7:30p....he didn't come out til 10:30....their was an hour break before he came where they did absolutely nothin'...then he was only out for about 40min. I mean Snoop was totally awesome but it sucked....So then we all came home and watched WRONG TURN...pretty good movie if I say so myself and yea that was it. Oh, it was Duanes 21st bday today so I called and talked to him which was cool, he was pretty drunk but that can be expected. I miss him a lot and I totally hate how we didn't talk forever, we were such good friends, which is what I miss. Hes doin good which is cool and has a g/f of over a year, so it sounded like things were on the up and up. It was just nice to talk to him and know we can still talk to each other. So as you can see crazy random weekend, but all in all it was fun!! On that note I am gonna go...ttyl....TJH

Daily Quote: "Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you." Mae West.

A Compliment never hurt....

Scottie 2 Hottie


This guy you see here is Mr. Scott Foster, and this guy made my day today. I was at work and he happened to be their too (well mainly because he works their as well). He was sittin' their telling me a story, and I noticed he was like staring at me, then he started talking slower. I was like what are you looking at.....he said you...I was wondering why you got all "dolled up" to come to work. I was like I'm not dolled up, he said you never wear lipstick and your hair is usually in a ponytail. I was like sorry I didn't mean to startle you, he said its okay you look nice. What a sweetheart, no one has paid me a compliment in a long time, and for it to come from Mr. Scottie 2 Hottie himself, who thinks he is gods gift to women...it ment a lot..and trust me he thinks that just ask him!! So needless to say he made my day!! BTW Goodluck in City this weekend, I know you said you need all you can get...and you're not joking..lol!!!

Your the bestest friend anyone could ever have...

To my BFF, C-Rabbit..

I know you absolutely hate this song!! But in all honesty I feel this is how our friendship is...you know me better then anyone including myself....and I love that I have you to fall back on...you are my strength and you have always been their to pick up my pieces. And lord knows you never let me stay mad, or sad, or unhappy...it is your mission to make me smile...and I thank you!! I also kno that when mon, tues, weds, etc..rolls around while your gone..I will be so thrilled when you call!! Thanks for knowing all the pieces of me...

Pieces Of Me
On a Monday, I am waiting
Tuesday, I am fading
And by Wednesday, I can't sleep
Then the phone rings, I hear you
And the darkness is a clear view
Cuz you've come to rescue me

Fall... With you, I fall so fast
I can hardly catch my breath, I hope it lasts

[Chorus:]Ohhhhh
It seems like I can finally rest my head on something real
I like the way that feels
Ohhhhh
It's as if you know me better than I ever knew myself
I love how you can tell
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me

I am moody, messy
I get restless, and it's senseless
How you never seem to care
When I'm angry, you listen
Make me happy it's a mission
And you won't stop til I'm there

Fall... Sometimes I fall so fast
Well, I hit that bottom
Crash, you're all I have

[Chorus:]Ohhhhh
It seems like I can finally rest my head on something real
I like the way that feels
OhhhhhIt's as if you known me better than I ever knew myself
I love how you can tell
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me

How do you know everything I'm about to say?
Am I that obvious?
And if it's written on my face...I hope it never goes away... yeah

On a Monday, I am waiting
And by Tuesday, I am fading into your arms...So I can breathe

"Jimmy say something?"

This night went from the same ol' same...to well..interesting....
I got off work and went to moms to say hello, and then JB called so we met up at my place and we watched TV for awhile. I then decided I wanted a creamslush from Sonic and we left to go get one and on the way we saw Chris and Andy D. We chatted with them for awhile...even though they were both rather intoxicated....we decided to go back to my place and watch more TV..which was rather boring because their was jacksh*t on. So at about 12:30am JB decided to leave and go home...he told me before he left he was gonna go get gas and go home. At about 12:50am their is a knock at my door, I figured it maybe Jenn or someone so I go to answer it and its him. I 'm not sure if it was just me but it seemed like he was their for a minute before he said anything...his face was red...and I thought he had been crying...my heart dropped. I though someone was hurt or dead for that matter....he proceeds to say "I need you to do me a favor, Chris is drunk and cryin' and I need you to drive his car home"....I was so relieved it was that and nothin' worse...even though we had no clue why he was crying. So I drove his car home...cuz its a manual and well I am the only one who knows how to drive one...and JB followed us so he could bring me back home. Come to find out he was just upset about random things, and I think the beer made it a little more intense then usual. I will never forget they way JB looked standing in the door way it was so crazy....nor will I forget the way I felt...I was like "Jimmy say something, anything, please!!"..it was jus so weird. So for future reference never come to my door after you say you are going home and just stand their at least say hi or something..this applys to everyone. We got a good laugh out of it on the way back to my place though...

So Connor had been gone for a little over a day and I have talked to him 4times...this really makes me wonder how the hell I will survive a week or more when hes at school. Dependency is definately a bad thing...I have learned that twice now..once with him...and another with "the one I shall not speak of". Speaking of him....even though I am not allowed....I heard through the grape vine he had a few words with Beth the other day. This is cool and all but either she or he has stories mixed up...because what she said isn't making since nor is it correct. I know hes happy, and I really truly am happy for him, its about time! I just don't understand the situation I guess. I care about him a lot, and I often want to call and check in...but a.) I know he won't answer and b.) I think its best this way. I have decided they only time I will call is to tell him I finally accomplished what I set out to do, and what he helped me to achieve....granted I am sure his number will be different 10 years from now..lol.. but hey it won't hurt to try!! He made a big impact on my life...like I am sure he will hers...I definately learned a thing or two....and one of those is what its like to be loved.

Anywhoo....times have changed and so have we....but the memories last forever....and thats what I take with me. I told my bro I would come spend the day with him tomorrow...can't you see the excitment on my face?!...yea, me neither. So I think we are going to do fun bro/sis type things since he starts school on Wednesday. I also get paid tomorrow which is funtimes had by all...because it means I am not broke for at least one day of the week. Other then that I am not sure what I will do..I know C-Dawg will get home sometime tomorrow and I will prolly see him. But really no other plans so far....as usual. Well I am off to dreamland....hopes it a good one with a real hot guy...lol...only in my dreams....nighty night...TIFFERS

Daily Quote: "An alcoholic is anyone you don't like who drinks more than you do." Dylan Thomas. ...cheers!!

It was a tragedy...at least in my world

So last night as I was gettin' ready to get online...I got an error with AOL saying that they need to fix my internet connection. I was like okay I can handle that no prob....but then in the middle it just stopped....and it wouldn't even let me sign on!! I was like oh noooo....so I uninstalled it and put it back on twice and it kept doing the same thing. I finallly gave up and shut my computer off thinkin' maybe after some down time it shall return to normal. I get up and try it again and of course the tragedy continued. I decided to uninstall it one more time and reinstall it..and I'll be darn here I am. Computers are so moody sometimes, it jus bugs me too no end!! The good news is I am up and running again...and hopefully it stays this way.

Well lets see..last night was pretty uneventful...to say the least. I did however watch The Wood, which is a really good movie. Funniest thing, my mom gave me a free rental thing from blockbuster last night, which is the only reason I went there, cuz usually I am all about Premiere. So we pull up and Saif's car is their and we are like"this will be interesting". We pray that hes not with Sydney because then that will just be weird and awkward and besides "hes done with her"..blah blah blah. So as we approach the door and look in its none other then my bestest bud in the whole widest world..HANNAH!!! We were so relieved, and it was just funny the 4 of us were their...so me and Hannah go off and talk about our girl stuff while I send JB to go find us a movie. So I guess they are doing "the same ol twostep"..haha...when it comes to those two...which sucks because shes an awesome girl stuck in a really sticky situation. I reassured her it will all work out and to just have fun...and she reassured me that she is...LOL. So any whoo he picked out The Wood...and we watched that which was cool...I had never seen it and I really liked it. Good Choice!! I also finally finished FInding Nemo yesterday, it is such a cute movie, I think everyone should watch it!! JB even liked it and trust me he wasn't all about watchin it...but its cute and its nice to revert to childhood every now and then.

Well my day today is following the same uneventful path, I have to work 4-8pm and then yea...no plans what so ever. I hope C-Dawg, Jesse, and Baum are having fun in the STL...I really wish I would have gone....but they needed male bonding time. Well I get paid tomorrow which will be exciting and then yea.... Gosh y must my life be so boring, I feel like I do the same damn thing all the time. Well, I do but...its fun none the less...even though I do complain. I think I am gonna try and get peeps to go play volleyball tonight...it sounds exciting...and fun. Who knows...well kids time to start my wondermous day...have a good one yourself...and I shall write later...Tiffany Jayne (I miss my Kyle Ray!!)

Daily quote: "Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage." Ambrose Bierce.

It seems like I wasted another day of my summer. I didn't get up until 12:30pm but that could be because I didn't go to sleep until 6:00am, not that I minded because I was in good company. Also the name of the movie we couldn't think of last night is "Man of the House", in case you were still wondering. We tried to watch Finding Nemo last night because I begged, but by this time it was 3:30am and I was so freakin' tired. Finally my eyes hurt so bad and I felt so tired I had to go to sleep. Of course once I went and got into bed, I couldn't fall asleep, thus making it 6am before I finally went to bed. It was cool though, we shared a few laughs such as; "slowpitch
? no only the 40, 60, and 65 work"..lololol...before finally falling asleep. It was nice to have him there...I am glad that things haven't really changed...because I definitely love layin next to him and having our late night conversations.

So once I did get up almost half the day was gone..I tried to watch the rest of Nemo but I was rudely interrupted by C-Dawg, who wanted me to go to the dentist with him, how exciting!! NOT! Being the great friend I am I went and sat their thinking how I could so be at home finishing my movie. We left and went to the Post office, then to his house, then to get his oil changed, and then to dinner at Tumbleweed...were I enjoyed a peach Marguerita..yum!! We decided that we were both exhausted so we went back to my place and slept for 3 hours...then when I woke up I guess he did too and since I have bunk beds he sat up and slung his legs over the edge to get down and hit me in the head....Thus giving me a major headache. Which I still have 2 tylenol later...we watched Road Rules and the assistant and now I am sittin' here with a horrible headache tryin' to decide if I want somethin to eat.

As you can see I had such an excitin' day...full of absolutely nothin'...but it was nice cuz C-Dawgs gonna be gone for three days then I have to work when he gets back...so we spent our quality time together. I keep thinkin' how different my life will be when he is gone...but the good thing is he will be home that first weekend after his classes start and then we figured twice in October and once in November and then X-mas break in December...and these are the bare minimums...so its not like I will never see him...plus I can always drop by and surprise him..LOLOL...Its just sad because he will be gone in 16 days...

Well peeps I am gonna end this long boring post, and prolly eat a bowl of cereal...sounds yummy!! Take care and I shall write again soon!! Love, TIFFERS

I have decided to put up a daily quote..because well...we all need a little somethin' to live by. "Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions." Woody Allen.

The one I shall not speak of....

Someone once told me, "If you don't like it then don't read it"....I am going to have to say this applys to this situation as well. I use this blog for myself, not for anyone elses enjoyment or entertainment. I do not write in here to piss people off (which I now know of twice this happening) or to hurt feelings, I use it to vent....because trust me my friends get tired of hearing the same damn shit regarding the same damn people....because I am way over dramatic like that. So I am sorry if I offend, upset, piss off, or hurt someone in my writings but, I use it to vent and thats all....If you have a problem feel free to confront me..thats why their is an area to leave comments.
Any whoo...other then that my life has been rather normal...no complete drama, no worries, no nothin...its been nice....I have been workin' alot though...which is good..I need the money. It seems like things have gotten better at work..I get along with everyone a lot more...which is awesome..I don't feel like I am the outcast any more. I went and saw "the village" with 20 people...I know damn thats a lot of people to go to the movies but we had a blast...It wasn't at all what I expected...its not a scary movie, like it was advertised. Their were parts that were scary, but its a crazy, crazy movie..I definately loved it...even though most didn't, because its not what the previews build ya up for.
So I have met this girl named Hannah through some other friends of mine, and she is totally awesome. At first I was like...I dunno about her....she appears to be rather girly and I thought she was gonna be ditzy and dumb...but looks can be decieving. It was funny because I found out she is going out with someone that I have met through "the one I may not speak of"....so then we kind of bonded with that whole situation. She's been hangin out with us a lot but I have kept my distance due to me well...jus bein me. But when we went to the movies we sat together and totally talked for awhile...(I mean we were there 40 min early)....it was a great bonding expierence!! We have a lot in common like, we both hate girls, guys suck and we always get fucked over, and we both have a great sense of humour ;) Shes an awesome person, to bad shes leavin' to go back to IU....things never fail. Hopefully we can keep in touch, I love her to death!!
Well I guess thats it for now, I lead such an exciting life!!! Its off to bed....which hopefully will leave me with more to write about later....I can't beleive he's staying...how excitin'...more to come later!! Night, Tiffy J

Why do I do it to myself?

Why do I even look, its not like I wanna know what it says, I know everytime its going to hurt when I read it. I mean I guess I do want to know because it the only way I know I can keep up on stuff, but at the sametime I know how I will feel when I am done, because its nothing I really want to hear. What can I say, I'm the stupid one, why do I even care...its not like they care....?!!? Who knows...uggghhhh....

On a lighter note I went and saw "the Village" last night, and let me tell ya don't go expecting a scary movie....Its a very good movie, if you understand what he is doing, but the previews build you up to think it will scare the living sh*t out of you. The theatre was packed, every single seat was full, and it was funny to see peoples reactions after we left...the were so disappointed and so many people bitched. I can see why because most of those who went wouldn't have gone had it been advertised for the kind of movie it was....but at the sametime...it was good.

Well, I don't know much else, I am in progress of building a webpage so my "advid" readers can have a simple way to access all my wonderful writings. It will also have some pics of me and friends that should be rather interesting, so when I am done I will let everyone know.

*Starting today 29 days til school starts..how exciting*

Well have a great night and I shall write to ya later, Tiffany