Expectations---How silly of me to think I could

Well I sit here at work rejoicing because I just remebered I get paid tomorrow!! Thats always a plus in my book!!

The past few days have been enlighting to say the least, more of an awaking to reality opposed to my dream world. Their are so many things I want to know, I want explained, I want the blunt honest truth. I am tired of playing games, I am tired of being choosen last and not only last but when the time is right so to speak. I don't want to be convience, I want to be the reason. I know many would say what I have is better then nothing and if I don't like the "bare minimum" I can always have nothing instead if I want to keep bitching and aren't happy. I suppose I should be happy with what I have but its hard to be when in the past you had so much more and meant so much more then just the "inbetween times".