And time goes on...

So I said I was going to try and continue writing but as you can see that hasn't happened...go figure!!

I have been wanting to blog lately due to all the events going on but I just can't seem to figure out what I want to say....and I still am not so sure.

I guess I shall start from the beginning.....On Saturday April 30th I was at work like usual and I decided for lunch that me and Joanna were going to go get something to eat. When we left the library I took out my phone and I had 1 missed call from Beth Evans (which was strange because we hadn't talked in what seemed like forever) and a voicemail. I listened to the voicemail which said "Tiffany this is Beth call me back I have something important to tell you". My immediate reaction was something happened to Darren, Michaels brother (Michael is Beths boyfriend) because he was over in Iraq, I told Joanna that and proceeded to call Beth back.

My worst nightmare had come true, Darren had died that Thursday in Iraq from a bomb attack at the age of 20yrs old. I had no idea what to say so I asked if I could call her back and I just lost it. I had known Darren for 7 years, we worked together for a year at the Roca Bar, his brother and I had been friends since middle school, we use to hang out on the weekends and we always kept in touch even while he was away. I just couldn't believe it I was in utter shock.

I went back to work and tried to carry on like normal so I could just get out of their and have a day to collect how I feel about this situation. I got of work at 6 pm that night and right as I was walking out the door my Mom called. "Eric (my cousin) was in a 4-wheeler accident they had to life flight him to St Marys hospital". I couldn't believe this was happening not all in one day. I talked to her for a bit and she asked if I wanted to go to the hospital and I said I wasn't sure. I went home and changed clothes and called my friend Sarah. I told her I wanted to go and I felt I needed to be there but I didn't want to add to the chaos of everyone else being their. She said if you feel you need to be their then go.

My and my mom got their around 7:30pm and by that time he had been moved from the ER to ICU. His sister Shannon told us he had broken every bone in his face and that when he arrived they had to shock him twice to get him back. His body was fine and nothing was injured with his spine but he was bleeding from his mouth, eyes, ears and nose. Their was medicine they could give him to help stop the bleeding but he had to get his blood pressue back up first. While we were there I was told I could go back their to see him, I wasn't sure if I wanted to. I didn't want that to be the last image I had of him but at the sametime I wanted him to know I was there. So I decided not to for the time being. I rode their with my mom and she kept wanting to leave so she could beat my brother home but I begged that we stay just a little longer. Around 11:30 the nurse came out wanting the family but everyone had gone downstairs except me and my mom and my aunt. Everyone came running upstairs and into the ICU and I stood outside the door with my mom contemplating on wether I wanted to go back. Finally our cousin Sammy Jo came up and said take my hand we will go back together. I am sooo glad I went....we got back there and they had Eric laying flat on the table performing CPR on him, they tried for 30 minutes to revive him and at 12:05am Sunday May 1st Eric Joesph Greenwell Died at the age of 20 yrs old.

I never did see his face when I was back there which I am so happy about. Everyone said it was horrible and I didn't want that image in my head. Eric and I were so close and I think I am still in denial about a month later. We had already planned for his 21st birthday in October, which he will never get the chance to celebrate. The last time I had seen him was Easter sunday, we went to his house and had gone riding in the woods on the 4-wheeler. Ironically I hadnt talked to him since except the Wednesday before his accident he called to see how I was and we talked for about 15 mins while he was driving to work. I miss him more then I have ever missed anyone and not a day goes by I don't think of him and all we shared together.

Well now I guess you know why its been so hard to write lately....but I feel better now that I have written. Until next time....Tiffany